What Matters Most

Have you ever had to take the time to sit down, rationalize out the things in your life and change you priorities? How difficult was it? I mean, after all, making changes is not always easy. I have been given some time off from work because my stress levels were digging hard at my soul. I have stayed busy this week with household chores, getting my son to and from his activities and also some free time to really think about alot of things. I have found some inner peace....and that is good because I have been fighting these "inner demons" for a while now. You know what I find to be totally amazing? I do not miss one thing about the job I have had for 20 years. I have talked alot this week about the different things going on and when a family member said "You need to go 24 hours and NOT talk nor dwell on that place." I listened and you know what? I had one of the best days I have had in a LONG time. Good inside feelings and laughter and I have slept really well this week. No nervous stomach and guess what.....NO TEARS! I have almost made it a week without tears! Now that is truly amazing. So, you ask, what am I rationalizing? I haven't figured it all out, but I have come to conclusion that if I can walk away from that office for only a two week period of time and not miss one single thing or person (well, there might be one or two that I think about) but I am rationalizing the fact that God is telling me that it IS time to make CHANGE and move on toward bigger and better things. For those of you that may have suffered with nerve problems, you can truly understand what I mean about fighting those "inner demons" (I named mine, better not put the names here but it is all NCDOT related-LOL) Struggling with trying to make the best decision for yourself....when you never put "self" first. I have always put my family first, and I still do, but I knew if I didn't take care of "me" then I would not be able to take care of my family. Is it easy? NO! I have had a good week, but I have had my moments. Stress can really cause damage you know! Yesterday was such a good day and today is starting out good too! I want that to continue because I don't think I have been able to say the "day was good" for quite some time. That is a shame because when you let the weight of the world (a certain thing) bring you down to where you cannot enjoy life.....stop and think at what ALL you SHOULD BE ENJOYING, but can't! Thats not fair to yourself or to those you love! So, do what I have done and take a moment to figure out WHAT AND WHO matters the most to you.........then realize and rationalize what you need to do to actually MAKE those things happen........and if it is taking a step out on faith, then do so! Put your faith in God's judgement and plan for you and trust that He is going to work it out for you....He will! Sometimes it isn't exactly what we have in mind for ourself, but He will bring the important aspects of your life to the forefront!!! I'm stepping out on faith....it's little steps, but I'm doing it....will you join me? Make today the best it can be and make the right choices for what matters most to you! Don't let a job or certain individuals rob you of what is REALLY important. I know that my job will keep on functioning regardless if I am there or not.......Do as have done and take some time for you......you might not need to take two weeks off from work...or then again, maybe you do. Take the time to see what really matters. You'll find that inner peace that I am finding. I still have a long road to travel, but with that step of faith, I've got one foot in front of the other......Until Later