A week has passed since my vacation. I have thought about that alot today. I looked at the clock at 1:30 PM....that was the exact time we pulled into the parking lot of the Prince Resort! We wait and wait with excited anticipation as our vacation SLOWLY approaches....and then, in a blink of an eye....it's a week later and I am sitting here blogging about it with a look of "wish I was still there" on my face. Oh well, this is life...right ? I know in so many writings I write about the joys (please note the tone of sarcasm) of my job....do you know that not one person....no, I take that back there was ONE person, that asked HOW WAS YOUR VACATION? Thats really ok because I have found that I prefer to share my life experiences with only those who truly care and want to hear about them. However, with that thought in mind, it makes me think about how we view things for our life....how we think it should be, compared to how it really is.......am I rambling? I read a friends blog today and she talked about in her younger days how she strived (because it was expected) to be the best...do the best...achieve the best out of life and career! Be successful, have the corner office, high paying job, CONTROL....the spotlight! Did I make all those attributes in my journey? No, not really! Am I disappointed? Sometimes. There are times when I sit back and view my life as if it were on a movie screen and I feel sorry for the main character because her dreams just never fully become a reality for her, no matter what she endures. Lately though, as the years continue to come and go in my life, it seems I sit back and view things a little more realistic! My purpose in life is the purpose that I am living right now! Could there be room for change? Yes, in some areas! My vision for the perfect atmosphere for my job would be one of friendship, laughter and teamwork. None of which you will find within these four walls! Disappointed? Oh, yes, very much so! Especially when it is people you have been around for 20 years and you still continue to have hopes for those dreams to become a reality....starting to "wake up" from that dream and realize that it's "dog eat dog" world out there and the best thing for me to do is come in at 8:00 (or 8:15) do my job...or what I can...keep to myself (the less people know of your personal life, the less they can talk about you) and then go home at 5:00. Seems to work...doesn't make for a happy day, but it works! Each day you wonder who you can trust and you know for sure that you can only depend on yourself to get a task accomplished....and heaven forbid, do NOT expect any of your work to be done by others while gone away on vacation! I have found that when I accepted those realities, life was better in the office! You see, there is a perfect example of how we perceive things...how we want them to be as opposed to how the really are!

I no longer strive for all that power and glory.....nor, do I beat myself up because I didn't accomplish those things. I am actually satisfied with who I am right now! I do wish I had a little more strength to walk away from what does bring me down and have more faith in myself to go and do the things I know I do well.....we're getting there though! It all takes time, one step at a time...right??

My life, my desires are totally made up of different aspects now than they were back in the 80's and early 90's......when I knew I had to achieve certain goals to BE SOMEONE! In God's eyes and my families eyes, I am someone and I have finally found in my mid age life that seems to be all that really matters! I am content, I have found that certain peace and I know that the rest will follow! I have the faith! ~ Until later!!