The weekend was a good one. Cade invited one of his friends to go with us to the lake for some tubing and fishing....and just to kick back a little! Well, when you have two 8 year olds around, there is very little relaxing, but I didn't mind, it was a good day and Life was good! I seem to spend more time enjoying and NOTICING the beauty around me more these days! The sky was a radiant shade of "Carolina" blue and the big puffy white clouds danced around all day....later in the evening a few gray clouds "dared" to venture through, but those white clouds pushed them on out of sight.....they knew I needed that day!

Life has filled my plate lately and I find it hard to get everything organized in a way that I don't get flustered! I think the anxiety takes too much control sometimes. KNOWING something has to be done, KNOWING it me who has to get it done, FINDING THE TIME to get it done....that balancing act is wearing me down a bit! Eddie has started back to school and it really is all new to him and he is stressing......ALOT!! Then he is stressing because I "make" him do his own homework. I keep reminding him that I am not the one going back to school and if I do his assignments for him it truly defeats the purpose! Then I feel guilty as I watch him struggle with the keyboard....he knows VERY LITTLE about the computer! However, I try to remind myself that if I do it for him, he will never learn and never be any better than he is right now! He is so smart...made straight A's in school...had a perfect 4.0 in college....but now in the age of technology, this computer "stuff" is throwing him for a loop! I can understand that!!!

Life is not "BAD".... it's just not balanced right now....and this see/saw that I am on is starting to take it's toll on me a little! I'm 44 years old, I really thought at this age I would KNOW what my future would hold....or at least have an idea of what it would be like! I have no clue right now. Life is so different from what I thought it would be! I trust that God will guide me.....guide us!!

I don't like to blog in a negative perspective, so forgive me today for sounding a little down! Sometimes we just can't help it....I have had people ask me how I can always be so "up"...always have a smile....well, truth is, sometimes it is a mask....I wear it to keep others "up" !! That makes me feel good inside, if I can make someone else feel better....so "strong" Starla, hides her inner feelings...puts them away, so she can assist others! I don't regret that for one minute! If I can put a smile on someone's face, I have completed a major daily task! However, even the strongest of people have to have their weak moments! I guess it is just the uncertainty! Tomorrow will be another day....and I am sure another mood for me! I usually don't try to stay "down" too long....isn't good for the inner soul! Breathe in, breathe out....close the eyes, lean back and meditate....put yourself in that happy place and truly meditate with deep even breaths! Think I am crazy??? Just try it....see if your body doesn't relax!

So, for now, I will have my weak moment....the inner strength will find its way back out soon! Say a prayer....I can feel God's peace working on me already! When you have your weak moments, and we all have them, take a moment for yourself and NEVER hesitate to ask someone to pray for you. Reach out! ~~Until Later!